quinta-feira, 17 de março de 2011

Valeu a pena.

Muitos amigos meus se tentaram suicidar e fiz de tudo para os ajudar, até um dia, depois de tantas repetições, recaídas, depois de tanto eu sofrer com e por eles, depois de eu tanto chorar e desesperar, com medo de nunca mais os ver vivos, depois de tantas desilusões.... depois de eu ter ficado sem mais palavras de consolo, sem mais verdades a contar, sem nada, eu Fartei-me. "Já te disse tudo o que te puderia dizer, não me vou repetir mais. Tens noção do que fazes e das consequencias que as tuas acções poderão vir a acarretar. Fiz o meu discurso milhões de vezes e o ouvis-te de todas as vezes que te deu esta vontade. Disse tudo o que tinha a dizer, agora decide o que queres fazer." E desliguei-me do mundo, à espera do amanhecer para saber a tua decisão.
Sempre que falavam em suicídio, dava-me um nó no estômago e uma sensação de nojo. Não pelas pessoas concretamente, mas pelos sentimentos envolvidos num suicídio (e na tentativa de um). Comecei a odiar suicídas e o próprio acto de acabar com a própria vida. Pelas más razões, ignorando o facto de já ter quase estado nos seus lugares, mas por muito tempo esqueci esse facto e odiei esse tipo de comportamento.

Mas hoje algo em mim mudou. Agora voltei à minha opinião inicial, antes do trauma que os meus amigos me ofereceram (sem ser de propósito claro).

A minha melhor amiga pediu-me para ver uma mensagem que uma rapariga tinha deixado no seu blog e eu, como essa minha amiga e uma outra, tive outra vez vontade de ajudar.

A rapariga postou no blog:

"i can't take it anymore.
i just wrote a letter saying goodbye to my family.

i love you all

goodbye."

Muitas pessoas comentaram a pedir para que ela não se suicidasse.

Eu escrevi isto:


"I don’t know you really. So I can’t say what you look like on the outside, like ‘oh i love your hair’ or anything like that. But i can tell you, you are perfect. Not movie perfect maybe, or plastic perfect, or any of that stuff. But YOU ARE REAL PERFECTION. Because you have lived, you have smiled, cried, been marked and moved on. Your scars are not a constant reminder of those dark days you lived, but they are the proof that you are better than any bad thing, any bad moment, any painful moment. You CAN survive anything. Maybe you don’t know it yet, but you’re so much strong than what you think you are. You just have to belive in yourself, and don’t think you need to do anything alone. You have someone in your life that you can count on. And there is so many others that would be so proud to be part of your life and make you happy. {Personally, i would give anything to be now by your side, and help you through this.} Don’t give up, because it may all look pretty bad right now, and it may feel like this will never change, but life has so many twists and suprises… aren’t you curious? And after a moment of suffering, there is ALWAYS a long moment of relif and happiness. It’s true. I’ve been there, millions of people have been in that situation too, and now look at those who didn’t give up. Those who decided to fight even with no more hope. Until one day, all the suddent, you’ll noticed you life changed. The storm wil be finally gone and you’ll have the chance to live life as you wanted. Give life illimited chances. Because you can do whatever you want, really! If you want, screw those who are bad for you, crew those who didn’t belive in you, crew those who used  you and abused you. screw everyone. Because you can do whatever you like, say whatever you say, live your life as you want. Don’t answer then, don’t listen, do not care. Be better than them, because you know you are. Everyone is perfect in their own way. And baby, nobody who is a real person really cares if you are fat, skinny, slim, tall, short, caucasian, black, asian or even a freaking alien. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR OWN WAY. Love yourself. Love life. You only have one, so you better live as you want and not how others tell you, because it’s your life, and you deserve to be happy.

With Love,

Manuela Gomes"


E ela respondeu:

"I'm cryin so hard. I went to go shut off my computer, and I saw over 400 messages in my inbox. All from strangers I don't know telling me not to kill myself. I don't know how to show how thankful I am. You all saved my life."

I just saved a life today. Everything is possible, you just have to belive in it, even if there is no more hope in sight.

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